


Ocean

by Nibbles84



Series: Hurricane [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nibbles84/pseuds/Nibbles84
Summary: Eddie say's goodbye to his best friend, a year after his death. Buck is there to guide him home.This is a sequel to "You hit me like a hurricane"
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Hurricane [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657192
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my fic "You hit me like a hurricane"
> 
> It's not beta'ed, all mistakes are mine.
> 
> I fell in love with the band "Lady Antebellum". I listened to the song "Ocean" the whole time, because I thought it fit with Eddie losing his best friend and having PTSD after his time in Afghanistan.
> 
> Here's the link to the song, if anyone wants to listen to it ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gfpTm7A1xE
> 
> I hope you guys like it. Remember English isn't my native language, so please be kind.

_“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold”_

_Frodo Baggins_

Eddie has always loved the Ocean. The sounds it made when the waves were crashing in. It was peaceful. It made his mind go quiet. He closed his eyes, tears running down his face. He tilted his head up, the soft breeze fanning over his face, the rising sun kissing his skin.

He let his mind wander. A year ago he felt lost. A year ago his whole life changed. A year ago he lost part of his soul.

A year ago his best friend died. He was here one second and gone the next.

After that Eddie felt like he was lost at sea, thrown overboard in a violent storm. A storm of grief, guilt and trauma. Since that fateful day, life had become a struggle. Every time he thought he made it to shore, he was drifting off again, never quite reaching it. And Eddie felt _tired_ at times. What was the point? He couldn’t save his best friend. He couldn’t save his brother’s limbs that were torn from their bodies by that IED attack.

Eddie would never forget the hours after the attack. Not one second. The frantic calls to the base for help, the agonizing screams of his brothers. Trying to decide who should get the morphine, as there wasn’t enough for everybody. Trying to decide who to help first. Trying to keep everyone alive until help arrived. Being on the lookout for insurgents. Luke slowly dying in his arms. Feeling the life draining from his body. 

Eddie opened his eyes, tears still running down his cheeks. He looked down at the dog tags in his hands, caressing the name etched in them. 

“I’m sorry”, he whispered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Luke. I’m sorry I couldn’t make your passing more bearable. But I did keep my promise to you. I asked Evan to marry me when I got home.” Eddie smiled through his tears and fiddled with his wedding band. “We got married on this very beach a couple of months later. I wish you were there. Sage was a great best man. You would’ve been proud of him. Evan looked so radiant. Christopher looked really cute in his three-piece suit. Buck started at the LAFD the next day as a firefighter. I’m gonna graduate soon, too. We’re gonna work together at Station 118. We’re already working together. I’m doing the same thing Evan did back in Fort Bragg. Learning everything there is to a fire station. The team is like a tight knit family. You would love them. Hen especially. She is snarky like you.”

Eddie looked back into the Ocean.

“I can’t believe it’s already been a year without you. It still feels like it was just yesterday. Sometimes I still feel like I’m drowning, Luke. It’s not as bad anymore, as it was a year ago, but it’s hard. A certain smell, sudden loud noises and I’m back in Afghanistan. I’m still going to therapy and it’s helping a lot. Nightmares and Flashbacks are few and far between. I also started volunteering with disabled vets at the local VA. Sage, Alastair, Tyler and Dylan also volunteer here in San Diego at the VA. They’re doing really good all things considered.”

Eddie still had bad days. He couldn’t stand the sound of fireworks, smelling burned rubber or the overwhelming stench of blood. But he learned to cope and adapt.

He also had Buck. When he felt like he was drowning and drifting he had his husband who guided him to shore. His lighthouse. A shining beacon in the darkness.

Suddenly there was a warm body at his back, legs at either side of his waist and strong arms came around his middle. Eddie let himself relax against his husband, his head resting on Buck’s shoulder. Buck kissed Eddie’s neck.

The older man let out a deep sigh. He tilted his head slightly up for a tender kiss.

They both looked out at the Ocean, watching the sunrise.

“I was worried about you.” Buck said quietly. When the younger man woke up, he found Eddie’s side of the bed empty and cold to the touch. Buck saw that the dog tags were gone from the bedside table, where his husband had put them the night before. And he knew where Eddie was.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to say goodbye to Luke.” Eddie looked at the dog tags in his hand and his new tattoo on his forearm. The exact replica of the dog tags. Around the tags was a compass and a map.

It’s been a year since he lost his best friend and he was finally ready to move on. Eddie would always miss Luke, but he carried a piece of him wherever he went now.

“Where’s our son?” Eddie asked. He intertwined his left hand with his husbands, their wedding rings clacking together. It still sends a thrill down Eddie’s spine at the sight.

“He’s with the boys. Tyler is making pancakes.” The trio’s house was in walking distance to the beach. Dylan, Alastair and Tyler were all living together. They tried living on their own but that didn’t go very well, so they decided to live together. Sage was living in LA near the Diaz residence, but came down with them on the anniversary of his husband’s death.

Later that day they would fire up the grill, have a very small and contained bonfire, drink a couple of beers to celebrate Luke’s life.

They sat on the beach for another half an hour. Buck would kiss Eddie’s neck occasionally, while Eddie rested against his husband with his eyes closed. No one said a word. They didn’t need to.

After a while Eddie let out a breath as if to steel himself. He got up and held out a hand to Buck to help him up.

Eddie walked to the shoreline and wadded a little bit into the water. Buck stayed behind but kept a watchful eye on his husband. He needed to do this alone. Eddie glanced down at the dog tags one last time. He brought them up to his mouth, kissed them and whispered “Goodbye, brother. See you on the other side.”

Eddie threw them into the Ocean and let the waves carry them away.

He stood there for a moment before he turned back, walked to his husband and his waiting arms.

Eddie stepped gratefully into the embrace, tucked his face into Buck’s neck and broke down crying. Buck in turn hugged him tighter and rubbed his back. When Eddie felt like he was drifting, his husband would always guide him back to shore, throwing him a lifeline to hold onto. 

_“You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.“_

**Author's Note:**

> I know in hindsight that the dog tags probably didn't fly very far, sank on sight and didn't get carried away in the waves like I wrote. Let's pretend they were carried out into the ocean. 
> 
> I really hope you guys liked it. Comments and kudos are appreciated.


End file.
